November 15th, 2006

Subject: I'm alive Time: 07:47 pm

I rememebered that I had this today....and have spend hours looking at it already....Idk how much posting I'll be doing but def be around

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January 22nd, 2006

Time: 06:40 pm

I've been super busy with the club I started recently. When I've got more time I'll explain it.

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January 8th, 2006

Current Music: Stricken - Disturbed Subject: The Truth Time: 10:53 pm Current Mood: aggravated

Its all I want. The no big deal is a big deal if for the only reason that you keep saying its not. Something is wrong with the story and I KNOW someone is lying to me. If not one person then everyone that was there is. Don't fuckin lie to me. Don't "protect" me from the truth cuz its not pretty. If you don't want me there then say No. Don't waste my whole night with false expectations. Take responsibility for what you did and tell me the truth. I NEED to know who to be mad at. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Make up your goddamn mind. You can't be someone's friend part-time. Either you generally think they are cool and lie to everyone else or you don't. Its as cut and dry as that my friend. I really hope you didn't do anything stupid and/or arent perpetuating that mistake now. He will kill you man. Shes all hes ever wanted and all he ever had. If its something else IDK what I'm gonna do. For your sake I hope U didn't do anything else. Cuz then I might havta do something im gonna regret.. Everytime I think about this I get pissed.

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December 29th, 2005

Subject: Heading West Time: 09:14 pm

I recently found out that yukon isnt just a trail. Its also a good time. The project is coming along swimmingly.

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December 22nd, 2005

Subject: The Stare Time: 12:39 pm

I have a theory. Most if not all people feel very embarressed or uncomfortable when someone is staring at them. So I decided to look into it. I have mastered the stare. Its not just any stare. Its a stare of indifference with a tint of retardation. The stare must include the following eyes that are clearly out of focus(a daydreamlike state), A blank face (ie no reaction), A dropped jaw(teeth partially showing), Spit pooling in the mouth(A good finisher to a long stare) and a rigged frame(no movement). Here is what you have to do. 1st stare at em. Whoever, some random kid in the library, the kid sitting next you you in class, a teacher. It doesn't matter. Just make sure they will notice you staring in a timely fashion. I'll get back to that last part in a sec. There are different kind of looks, a glance - the person sees you out of corner of eye, the pause - eyes meet and quickly divert to inanimate objects ie: floor, the lock - eyes meet and a msg is sent in the exchange ie: whats wrong with you look with the eyebrows, the double take - person sees you staring looks away looks back at you again to confirm the stare then breaks contact for an inanimate object. For a stare to be successful it must last longer then two double takes. A short stare might send a daydreaming message, a slightly longer stare may appear to be weird like you are fantasing about the person, if you hold it even longer it becomes evident that you are doing it on purpose. You have been staring at them with the intent of them to notice. They know someone is staring at them, watching their every move and they become uncomfortable and awkward sometimes blushing. That is when it is okay to break when its no longer weird but funny. Its important they notice early becuause during this entire exchange the spit has been pooling in your mouth and if it overflows or you break contact early you look really weird and gross. SO PLAN ACCORDINGLY. Try it someone although you may want to practice on a friend first (w/o telling cuz that ruins it) to master the technique. Once you can do that unfaultering try on some random victims. HINT It works well when the entire class is looking in one direction, towards something and you are obviously looking a different direction and at someone. Your mission is to make 3 people blush within 48 hrs of reading this using the above stated technique. Do it its hilarious even if only to you. Don't come off weird tho.

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December 12th, 2005

Subject: Rant Time: 10:19 pm

Back because the bull shit is boiling over, my regular crazy rant. Enough of the Bullshit. High School drives me mad. Our school is shifting into the mindset that they are preping us for college. Which means finals for every class, more AP classes, requiring more classes and forcing students to take certain ones. Some of this shit sounds good on paper but doesn't work out. Finals required for every class. Regardless of subject all taken in a 2 day period before xmas break. Which means 2 weeks will be left in the semester when we come back and having already taken the final students won't give a damn. More AP classes. There are 2 things wrong with this. A community college is offered down the street which means those classes could be taken there, but since the school can't regulate those classes they want control of them. Secondly teaching more classes without hiring additional teachers doesn't quite work out. If I were to go in during each of me 3 free periods a day. Thats over 3 hrs of work time I may be able to get help I go and and in a week period I am able to get it twice. There is only one teacher at my school that teaches calc and since hes the only one who knows what the hell he is talking about I have no other alternatives. If I had waited until next year I am sure the class would be the same but there is this little thing called mathlab. Not methlab mathlab. Where there are plenty of people to help. I understand the requirement of a certain number of english or math, ect credits to graduate but telling students they must take a certain level english over another because its more at their level isn't right. If a student wishes to take a class. Let them ultimately they will be the ones responsible for their actions. Whats what its all bout tho isn't it. Really learning responsibility and then demonstrating it. Can't wait for my escape tunnel outta here to be finished. Target finish date end of May.

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November 9th, 2005

Current Music: Disturbed - Down with the Sickness Subject: The Plan.... Time: 11:53 pm

I have a plan right. I plan to collect every tab and bottle cap that I use during my entire senior year. And I plan to display them at my graduation party for all to see in such a way that no one but people who know will recognize them for what they are. This plan serves several purposes 1. It will detail for me exactly how much I drank in this year. 2. It will give me many many tabs and caps to use for whatever purpose. 3. It will be an accurate gage of how much my senior year costed me in illegal activities. 4. It will give an estimation of how much I should budget into expenses while in college.- (Though I do think this rough estimate will be low). 5. Its gonna be damn funny. 6. Its a crazy idea that I am going to take to the extreme. Some may say too extreme. Any ideas on how to document shots gimmie an idea. Its getting hard to explain away the tabs my mom keeps finding in my clothes. Gotta fix that.

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Current Music: Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold Subject: Dreams Time: 11:37 pm

Ever have dreams where your teeth are falling out. You can't figure out why and can't stop them but by the end of the dream you are looking down at you hands full of the teeth that belong in your mouth. I do. I have that dream fairly requently. I find it quite disturbing. And yet everytime I wake up from it I check to see if I have mine even though I know it wasn't real. I think I might have a phobia of losing teeth. And I really hate having that fucked up dream.

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September 25th, 2005

Subject: IDK Time: 08:48 pm Current Mood: tired

I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I feel like the energizer bunny after its 1000th mile.

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September 4th, 2005

Subject: FOOTBALL Time: 11:16 pm

Had our season opener for football last Friday night. Coming in we were ranked 9th overall and the team we were playin wasn't ranked at all. Before the game our coach had an interview with the radio and the radio guy was makin it all sound like the other team looked bigger, stronger, and better. All the news around here dont think much of my school. Everytime we win its because of luck. Even when out of the past 5 years we have gone to playoffs 4 times. So the radio guys is sayin this stuff right. We come out and score on the first drive. Everytime they tackled one of our guys they tried to poke eyes and stuff. They played soo dirty. Fastforward to half time its 33-21 us both teams have just been running over each other. Neither can seem to stop the other. It looked like a pretty close one. Third quater starts our defense steps up and our offense hits the gas. Game ends guess the score........61-21. They had +2 rushing yards whole 2nd quater. And for the news they showed clips of the OTHER team scoring. usually you show clips of the team that wins. Common sense ya know. No they show clips of them and say prairie pulled ahead and won 61-21. We didnt pull ahead. We stomped em. School record for points. Aint getting no respect round here. Gonna put the hurt on those bastards next week.

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August 12th, 2005

Subject: AWOL Time: 11:32 pm

For about the next 3 months I prolly won't be posting much or even be online for that matter. With Football and it being my senior year all my effort has to go to that. Hopefully I can find the time to peek in every once in a while and say a lil something but no promises.

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July 31st, 2005

Current Music: So Cold - breakin benjamin Subject: I hate the night Time: 11:40 pm Current Mood: determined

I hate night time. I just hate it. I think its because when I squint through the darkness I hope to see something, anyone, you and I never do. I try to focus on something, anything and there's no light for me to walk towards. No end in sight. When it gets dark I always think and reflect. I dont know why. And everytime I do I feel empty and alone. Call it recovering from Koda Krack but theres times, like now, when I would give anything to be back.

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May 11th, 2005

Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration Subject: AWOL Time: 08:55 pm Current Mood: Bounceeeeyyy

Yea I know I haven't posted lately. Its been a little crazy around here as of late, not that I haven't had time but I haven't really sat and tried to collect my thoughts. Whats happened the past few weeks. uhh prom, conclusion of Junior Commissioner Program, near end of term for school so teachers are cramming shit in, Koda Camp is still up in the air, and I was offered to return to the JCP camp this summer as a counselor. Yea a lot. I decided not to go to prom. Primarily because I didn't wanna be a third wheel or go w/someone who I wouldn't enjoy the night with. Prom is supposed to be fun not a night full of apprehension and calculate movements. For me to have fun I have to be myself and unrestricted. I'm a junior so I got another chance to "seal the deal." While it was going on tho me and some other guys got together and played xbox live. Based on the night I prolly would have chosen the latter option again. Went to post prom which was alright. Had an excursion at a hotel for a while then ended the whole night with sleeping on the floor at I'm amigos casa. JCP is finally over. All those people I've developed tight bonds with and opened their minds. It was a great experience and its ever so bittersweet now because I realize that throughout the course of my life there is a good chance I will not meet any of these great friends again. Friends that slowly fade away with time, regardless of your attempts to salvage their memory. These people have seen the whole of me and accepted me openly. Its great to be so readily accepted, entirely for who I am I've said nothing I regret and done everything I wanted. Something that never happens here. I witnessed these people transform; from a kid whose parents happen to be deaf to kids proud to say their parents are deaf. The best part is these kids don't even know the extent to which they have affected me. Time of the year when teachers realize they have let too much slip during the year or their curriculum was a little too impossible to accomplish. The weeks where you have tests in every class and learn new chapters in record time. Its all pretty stupid to me. I'm still waiting for Bert to announce the CITs for Koda Camp next month. I think about it all the time. I want to get in soooo bad and I know I will be crushed if I don't. Koda Camp is the essence of my being. The time from Aug to May is my break where I put back on my mask and get back into the mold that is Jonah D. Legg. So once I hear a response from Bert I will know if I can be a counselor at the JCP camp or not. I really want to but I would have to side with Koda Camp every year. I know the experience wont be nearly the same at either location but the role I will be filling is one that I have always wanted to be in. PS. I love the awkward glances in hallways and classrooms after a weekend of partying. OOOH yea. I got pulled over last weekend. Got a seat belt ticket. Guess how much it was. 49.50 fuckin dollars. Fuckin cop had something stuck up his craw.

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April 1st, 2005

Current Music: Breaking Ben - So Cold Subject: Reality Time: 10:54 pm Current Mood: No single word works

A girl from my school died. A thousand people knew her and yet thats all most of them say. How many times have i said that. She was a face in the halls. A face i ALWAYS remeber smiling. But i knew her so much more then that. Never do u think of that person. That person who u worked with everyday for a year with. Never didnt contribute or didnt do their work. You never realize how much of an impact they had on you until their gone. Not seeing her face in the hallways and sitting in Spanish class next to an ofrenda in her memory. The class you had with her. I still remeber coming back from spring break and groning that morning. Bitching that school had started again. I didnt think anything of it when I heard an announcment for a staff meeting that morning. I drag myself into my first class and an announcment comes on "All seniors to the auditorium".Huh i thought someone get caught doing something this weekend? Some new anal retentive dress code get printed?. intercom again "Teachers please tell your students about the content of todays staff meeting" click. Teacher says "I dont know how many of you knew Sierra Mitchell but she died in a car crash sometime last weekend. We dont know all the facts but it appeared to have happened over the weekend while she was driving back with friends from California". Huh. The class was silent thoughts flooding my mind. Pictures flashin through. Slowly the whispering starts. Some girls start crying. People look at the walls. Im not gonna lie I was sad because i knew her. I knew her story broken home she got delt crummy cards but she was only 2 months away from rising above it. Thats the part that i found most shitty. She was SO close to being done and getting away. That close and i think thats the part that hurts the most. What i dont get is the people crying who barely or didnt know her at all not to judge but i just couldnt understand it. I wanted to yell. You feel that bad and you hardly knew her. U dont have any right to cry. Her family who wakes up in the middle of the night to a phone call. Her best friends who find out when an administrator announces it to their class. What place do u have to cry for attention? For what?!?! You knew nothing of her struggle. Nothing of her life and yet u sob. What makes me even more mad are the fucking kids who went home afterwards just to get a day off of school. These fuckin people think that its alright to use someones death as an excuse to get out of school. Anyone with such weak morals deserves to be shot. Maybe then the rest of us who give a damn can get out early because those people dont matter.

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March 1st, 2005

Current Music: Nickleback Feeling way to damn good Subject: In the News Time: 10:51 pm Current Mood: WOOT

Im going to Cali. Why? do u ask. Cuz I kicked ass and took names at BPA state today. Business Professionals of America is a competitive leadership training thing. I dont know how to state it. There are like 50 events. With 3 major areas. Finance, IT, Marketing. With many events within each category. There are tests for diffrent levels, research projects, speeches, and team groups. Freshman year. Me and my 2 friends enterend Economic Research Project Team. We wrote a paper and presented it to judges. We got 3rd of 3 at state. #2 however dropped out and we went. Long story short we placed 10th in the nation. Pretty good for some freshman. Last year i did Economic Research Project Indavidual. I didnt place and got nothing. This year my focus was accounting because that is the class which i am in now. I joined Financial Anlysis Team and 2 other accounting tests. There were 2 FAT teams from my school. There had been some tension between us and them because some of our members were supposed to be on the other team. They had 2 ppl w/lots of xp and we had 1 who had done it 2 years ago. Anyways we got 2nd and are going to nationals. Yesterday i was waiting for my ride and my teacher came over and said I had to take an open test(test anyone can take). So was like ah wat the hell. Im waiting and i wanna keep her happy so i went and took it. 30 mins later i walked out. Ahhh. Stupid test done teacher happy now i can focus on FAT team. AT the awards ceremony they come to this event and call my name. Im like hey im a finalist. Cool i get 2 medals this year. Go up on stage and they are calling people. 5th place. 4th place. I aint got a chance. I totally fucked around i think to myself. 3rd place. Naw im done these kids no their shit. Not a chance. 2nd place JONAH LEGG PRAIRIE HIGH SCHOOl. I looked over at the announcer, double check the screen. No way. No way did i completely half ass that test and do well. Holy shit im getting anothe plaque. One i earned all on my own. w00t. All to bitter sweet. I think wat if only i had tried..... Then i thought WHO THE HELL CARES. IM GOING TO CALI. I GOT IN FOR 2 THINGS. 2 AND I DIDNT SCREW MY TEAM OVER. I WAS ABLE TO DO 1 MYSELF. Im feeling too damn good. and im wearing my medals to school tomarrow

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February 15th, 2005

Current Music: One Thing- Finger 11 Subject: Distance Time: 07:30 pm Current Mood: Thinkin

Sucks that this is another thing thats between us.

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Current Music: I Stand Alone- Godsmack Subject: Withdrawl Time: 07:02 pm Current Mood: Empty

God i hate coming home after KODA experiences. I loath feeling empty. Theres definately no wind in my sail. Just when i think life is good. I'm starting to feel it here. I find it was all an illusion. A false sense of security. months w/o contact and you think about them less. You forget how much even the most insagnificant event can mean soo much when you're around them. They light you up and fill you out. Just seeing their face and hearing their voice feels soo good cuz of everything you know will follow. I feel fullfilled. I wipe the dust off my wings and they open. Feels soo good to fly. To truly be myself. Say everything I think and be utterly accepted. Hide nothing, present no false face. Be truly myself. I so miss this feeling. And i despise the way im feeling now. Just a shell. Completely drained.

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December 10th, 2004

Current Music: Seether- Broken Subject: Im 1 Weird Son ofa Bitch Time: 10:42 pm Current Mood: Bitches

Alrite before i start my rant and u chaulk me up as a complete psycho I'll start from the beginning so there's at least some linear pattern to this. A lot of my friends have been getting parking tickets at school. Because: 1. They parked in a marked spot 2. They parked incorrectly 3. They parked next to a curb (that was not marked) 4. They didn't have a tag on their car Although these tickets are like $5.00 and aren't a real big deal I have decided to fight them. Oh and if u don't pay them they wont let u walk down the isle. I find a couple issues with this system. 1. A teacher issues the ticket not a cop 2. You cannot contest the ticket 3. It is a public parking lot and because so only handicapped spots can be marked with a sign and a fine. 4. It is a public parking lot and a tag cannot be required. 5. Not an actual ticket Each of these points may not be correct and/or completely correct (I also have specific issues with "playing favs" by the teach who issues them." Therefore I am going to contact a lawyer (for reference not for services) and I am also going to review the Iowa law on parking citations. I'm damn sure I'll find a hole with at least one of these points. Voiding them all. Sons of bitches use the system against us. Imma fuck'em with their own system. Oh and if I was rich I would hire a lawyer even though I have never gotten a ticket but that's because I don't drive (what would u choose Drivers Ed or Koda Kamp?) Feel free to respond with input.

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November 12th, 2004

Time: 01:30 am Current Mood: amused

I love my sister named Jannelle.. I admire her and wish that someday I can be.. half the person she is.

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November 4th, 2004

Current Music: Guster- 2 pts for honesty Subject: Times I just wanna leave it all behind Time: 10:45 pm Current Mood: sad

I've been a little awol the past few months. Dont have a whole lot a of free time when it comes to the football season. Make a long story short. It was kinda like Friday Night Lights. Except a few games shorter. We didnt have a snow ball's chance in hell of getting through this season. No one had us ranked. No one thought we would have a winning season. And we come out of 9 games playing 6 ranked teams and end at 7-2. The hardest work, the most effort, the most emotion I have put behind anything I have ever done. We didn't have all the talent. We just went out and played balls to the wall football. play hard and go hard every play. We dont quit was our moto. To play a team we had already beat once and to lose to them to see all that work end. Felt like i got hit in the chest with a bat. And i aint talkin no plastic wiffle ball bat; im talking a aluminum slugger. Walk off OUR field with those fuckers chanting NA NA NA NA goodbye. Go to school today. All i hear is "good effort guys" "Nice job, you played hard". WTF do these people know. They weren't there for the 6 hr pratices in the summer. The workouts all winter. The realization that i played as hard as i could, as we could and we still couldnt pull it off. My coach has a saying "Hard work gets you a chance. Only a chance." How true this rings in my ears. School tomarrow. Yah im not going. I really dont care. I've lost to much to care. People dont know what the fuck they are talking about and make my cringe when they open their mouths. We didnt play for your sorry ass. We played for each other. Take the day off. Im sure things around here are just gonna get so much better.

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